28/10/07

I'm annoyed.

We went on a walk yesterday, and found some of the biggest, fattest sloes in the world ever. Just to be clear, I don't want you thinking these were damsons and I was just too dumb to realise - they weren't that big. But they were pretty damn big. Unfortunately, we've already made the sloe gin, plus we didn't have a bag to put them in. We did eat some, though.

I found out recently that I've been making sloe gin the wrong way for years. I've been told that you're supposed to put sugar in or some rubbish. I can only conclude that you're supposed to drink sloe gin neat, so you need to put sugar in to make it drinkable. But I couldn't possibly have gin without tonic, as tonic is more than half the fun - so I don't see why I have to put sugar in a perfectly good alcoholic drink just because it's been made like that for generations.

Of course, I do like sour things. I've been known to eat grapefruits like oranges, and ... well, eat sloes straight of the bush, I guess. It's not a tactic I recommend to other people, as they don't tend to like me much afterwards.

However, I would recommend making sloe gin if you haven't before, as it's very tasty. You can find sloe bushes all over the place (in England; I can't vouch for anywhere else I'm afraid) if you know what you're looking for. Sloes look a bit like tiny plums - they're round, with a blacky-bluey colour and a stone in the middle. Though if you're going to go and pick some, you better check in a wild plant guide; I don't want you eating Deadly Nightshade and dropping dead on me. I don't have enough readers that I can afford to lose any.

Anyway. For those interested, this is my not-patented not-right way to make sloe gin:

First, once you've found your sloe bush, you want to pick a lot. Because you want a lot of sloe gin, right? Don't do what I do - which is go on a walk at this time of year, see a great sloe bush, realise you haven't got a bag to put them in, and then fill your coat pockets. They get kind of squishy, which is especially bad if you've forgotten you put the map in your pocket first.

When you get home, you're going to need a bottle of gin. Or, preferably, two bottles - one full, one empty. This is never a problem in my house; though really, any empty bottle will do, as long as it's clean. Obviously you don't want your gin to taste of orange squash. Next you divide the gin between the two bottles, so you've got room to put the sloes in. This may possibly be the point you're supposed to add sugar, but don't ask me how much. I guess it depends how mcuh you like sugar.

After this, you prick you sloes. This is the tedious bit. You just have to prick a bunch of holes in each of the sloes - to let the juice out - and then drop them into the bottles. I usually use a fork or a skewer. You want to watch yourself here, as the sloes can squirt juice when you prick them, and sloe juice stains badly. I wrecked a perfectly good top last year through forgetting this simple fact - it now has an interesting splatter effect. So you might want to wear an apron, or at least a top that you're not bothered about.

You keep pricking sloes until you either run out of room in the bottles, or you run out of sloes. With luck, you'll end up with two full bottles. Finally, you leave them to stand. I've been told you should leave them six weeks, but I don't always manage this. In fact, I frequently start drinking it a week after I've made it. But at least leave it until you can see the gin has gone a nice deep red colour - because that always looks so cool in the glass.