13/04/08

I've never really liked soaps. I don't think they're particularly bad, and I haven't a problem with other people watching them. I just find them very difficult to watch myself, because I feel so terribly sorry for the characters.

It's not that bad things happen to them - bad things happen to the characters in virtually any story you care to mention, with the possible exception of 'The Hungry Caterpillar'. Even Peter Rabbit nearly got baked in a pie, and don't get me started on Eeyore. Almost without exception, bad things have to happen for there to be a story at all. Some thing has to go wrong, or it's just a story about a bunch of people having a great time. And - whatever depressing things it may say about our psychology - no-one over the age of three wants to read that. It's boring.

But ... but ... with soaps, I find the lack of hope impossible to deal with. Or rather, the misplaced hope the characters have - that things will work out alright in the end. It's awful. Those poor bastards. Look, they're so happy, they think they've put the bad times behind them and this is a new beginning. They don't realise. So you're getting married now, yes? That's great ... but in six months you'll be divorced. Or your husband will be terminally ill. Or you'll get fired from your dream job. Or something.

These people are trapped in an endless cycle of misfortune, which will never end until they a) die, or b) move away from the home that they seem so inexplicably attached to. It's surreal when you think about it. I half expect some mad old tramp to wander in and start grabbing at people and shouting about how 'We're doomed! We can never escape!'.

I hate finishing a book or TV show or film that I've loved - it's upsetting saying good-bye to characters you've grown to care about so much. But it's easier to accept when you realise that it's the only way the poor guys are going to get a quiet life.