Scene 20 - Leading the Blind

26/04/09

So I was awake at 1.30am last night, which was great. Thinking about the usual - cancer, blah, boyfriend away for upsetting reasons, blah, blah, going bald, still five more doses to go at least, comic script being difficult, want to go back to work but will I be able to cope, blah blah blah blah BLAH! Got to that point when you just give up, switch on the light and start reading something, because there is no way in hell your stupid brain is going to shut up tonight.

Had a copy of Empire magazine by my bed. Started reading that. I don't pick it up that often, but this one was an Empire is 20 years old! Oh my God! special, directed (or something) by Steven Spielberg because ... I dunno. Plus, it had the words 'Scott Pilgrim' on the cover, which always makes me want to buy stuff.

And ... man. It was a surreal experience. I mean, I'm sure I knew some of this stuff, and had just forgotten, and it's probably common knowledge all over the place, but I kept turning the pages and going 'What? Really? Is that a thing? I didn't know that was a thing! Is that right? Am I asleep?'.

1.30 in the morning - and, what, Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson are teaming up to make two Tintin movies? Since when?! I knew someone was talking about making one, but those guys are making it together? And ... Andy Serkis is playing Captain Haddock? What? Okay, it's motion-capture, but I'm still having problems picturing that. And ... Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are Thompson and Thompson? That's ... cool, I guess? But also somewhat bizarre. And (and this is a big 'and') Jackson says 'It will have this film noir kind of look'.

Film noir? Tintin? I have to say, visually I would have thought Tintin was about as far away from noir as you could possibly get. But ... okay. I'm too sleepy to argue the point.

Moving on, flipping the pages, and here's a reunion of the Goonies for some reason. And .. wait, Mickey in the Goonies is Sean 'Samwise Gamgee' Austin? Really? Are you sure? How come I didn't know that? Does everyone else know that? I feel like I've failed in some kind of fantasy film pop culture geek quiz kind of way.

Or, no really, am I alseep?

The feeling continues with the remark about Harry Potter's epic eight film journey. Eight? Is that a thing? How long has that been a thing? Jesus Christ, they're making Deathly Hallows into two movies? Oh, oh, though wait a minute. Does this ... does this mean, right, that I can entirely skip the longest-and-most-depressing-rainy-Bank-Holiday-camping-trip-ever section in the first half, and just go see the giant fuck-off demolish-large-sections-of-Hogwarts-when-I-say-go punch up at the end? Sweet.

Then there's the Hobbit. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. I had totally forgotten about that. Though, what? It's also two movies? What's going on with directors at the moment? Is it considered lame or otherwise pathetic and feeble to make movies one at a time now? I've got to say, I've no idea what to expect out of this one. Some of the comments were a little worrying - like wanting to include more about Sauron and such. Not sure about that. Totally going to see it though, because even if the story goes loopy we all know it's going to look fucking awesome.

Which leaves us with Scott Pilgrim. I trust Edgar Wright. He's one of the good guys. But, god love him, if he screws this up I will find him and kick his arse.

- And that concludes Lucy's fascinating tour of Empire magazine, as read while half-alseep and feeling a bit weird. Tune in next week to hear what she makes of the Radio Times while being held upside down in a bucket of frogs.